Monday, December 17, 2012

Worst Blogger Ever

I totally failed at this blogging thing. I'm going to give it another try now that I have a life again. This is temporary friends, so don't get cozy. Spring semester is going to spiral me into a deep dark, sad sad place of green tea and fat burners. My brain may just explode. However, that doesn't start until January 21st, so we have time.

Recap on my life in a few short sentences:
1. I quit my job and the hair salon (kind of makes me sad--I miss those girls) and I am now currently working at the health center at school. Good experience, right? Right...
2. I got my phlebotomy license. (The reason I quit my job in the first place.) 
3. I started working with the most amazing trainer in the entire world. Linda is super inspiring and very motivating. Anyone who has the opportunity to train with her is very lucky (myself included). 
4. I've gained 18 pounds (Boo. I want to cry just writing it. BUT I didn't gain the weight over night and it ain't comin' off over night, so I'm working to get back to myself.)

In the spirit of getting back to myself, I wanted to post something about what my diet was and what I'm going back to. My diet has been... well, it hasn't. At all. Existed. Magical. Unicorns. Pretend. A mere figment of my petty little imagination that I was actually doing something awesome for myself, when in reality, someone I hold in high esteem told me to gain some weight. And so I did. A lot. Too much. And now I feel pretty awful. Really awful. I cry frequently about it. (Whammy)

SO, to get myself off this sad sappy boo hoo train, I went back to the basics. The super boring, plain old basic. Steam green beans with balsamic vinegar. Brussel sprouts (my favorite!), broccoli, and asparagus (even though it totally makes my belly hurt.) Proteins are baked chicken, tilapia (ew), tuna, and 99/1 turkey. I'm so boring! But it must be done. I've cut diary (the hardest thing I've had to do so far), cut the coffee (the second hardest thing I've had to do, but really, coffee doesn't taste good without all of delicious sugary creamer crap in it), and I'm working on the sweets. Slowly the sweet crept in and took over like a virus... A plague that is now stuck to my midsection and makes me squirm when I get a good belly handful. I'm back to recording too. There's something about that weird little notebook that stares at me every time I eat something. I guess it accountability? Whatever. It's working.

On the upside, my ass is huge. It's a nice change being that I've always had a concave shaped derrière. I will continue to squat until my legs fall off in every attempt to keep this little cake stand that I've built. But it some of all the magical goodness happens to come off, which it will no doubt, I will just have to make peace. 

It's been real 151. But 133, she's different. She's classy. She's leggy. She's timeless. 151, we just weren't meant to be. Don't be too hard on yourself. It's me... really.



Monday, August 13, 2012

Chocolate Peanut Butter Protein Pudding Popa

I had a really good day today. I woke up this morning feeling awfully creative, when I decided to hit up Instaturd for a few recipe ideas. I follow this nice young lady named get fit_feel sexy (no user name judgement at all) that posts super good ideas. Sometimes, they're a little meh (zucchini scones) and sometimes I freak out at how awesome they are. So today, she made a variation of this wonderful fro yo recipe she has. As you all may or may not know, I love sweets. I'm nutty for any sort of almond, peanut, or cashew butter; I could eat an entire cheesecake to myself; chocolate cannot be kept in my house; small delicious little pastries are my... you get the point. Anyways, these fro yo pops are awesome. She made a variation that included cinnamon. Although I do love me some spicy cinnamon, I was feeling chocolatey today, so I mixed it up. Ah, the beauty of cooking.

You'll need: 
1. Popsicle containers. Bed Bath and Beyond sells them for $5. Score.
2. 1 cup of Greek yogurt
3. 2 scoops of peanut butter protein
4. 8 sweetner packets
5. 1 tbsp. of coffee
6. 4 tbsp. of chocolate almond milk
7. 2 tbsp. chia seeds (optional)
8. 2 tbsp. Walden Farm zero calorie chocolate syrup

How to?
1. Mix everything together, separate recipe into each pop container, and freeze it. Easy. Awesome. Super yummy. 

This recipe can be used to make protein pudding as well. Exact same ingredients, but chia seeds are mandatory and you'll need 3 tablespoons, not 2. Also a really great treat for those tough nights.

For the pops, each pop is about 120 calories and 23 grams of protein. WHAT?! Yep.

SM






Sunday, August 12, 2012

Jamie Eason Pumpkin Protein bars

Holyshitthisrecipeisamazing. If you don't make this amazingness of amazing, you may gone through the rest of your life a sad person because you never ate an awesome piece of awesome. So Jamie Eason is a spokesperson for bodybuilding.com and also a fitness writer/model/competitor. Whatev. She's awesome. And she makes bomb food. Check this out.

You'll need:
1. 1/2 cup of brown sugar Splenda. (Yes Splenda. Sue me.)
2. 4 oz. of apple sauce
3. 2 tsp. of cinnamon
4. 1.5 tsp. of ginger
5. 1/2 tsp. clove
6. 1 tsp. baking powder
7. 1 tsp. baking soda
8. 1/2 tsp. salt
9. 2 tsp. vanilla extract
10. 4 large egg whites
11. 15 oz. can of pumpkin
12. 2 c. oat flour (If you can find gluten free, do itttt.)
13. 2 cups of vanilla protein
14. 1/2 c. coconut milk

How to:
1. Preheat the oven to 350.
2. Mix all your wet ingredients together.
3. Mix all of your dry ingredients together and incorporate with the wet (ha) slowly. 
4. Spray a pyrex pan with cooking spray.
5. Pour everything into the pan and pop it in the oven for 30 minutes. 

Enjoy.

This makes 24 squares. Each square is 47 calories and roughly 4 grams of protein. Noms. I like it with my coffee in the mornings, or just as a little snacky snack mid-afternoon. Yes please.

Eat clean. Live clean. 


SM

Egg Souffle Nom Noms

I found a super yummy and super easy recipes that's great for making ahead for the week. Lots of protein and nearly no carbs. Oh, and it tastes amazing. WHAT?!

You'll need:
1. 30 (yes 30) egg whites. (Buy the super big pack at Costco)
2. 1 package of 90/10 turkey sausage. We used Jennie-O
3. 2 cups of spinach
4. 2 large bell peppers
5. Half of a white onion, diced
6. Salt and pepper to taste

So what do you do?
1. Preheat the oven to 400.
2. Cook all of your sausages. I just put them in a pan with cooking spray. They need to be cooked through. Raw sausage...not kosher. 
3. Dice your onion and peppers. Cut your spinach so it's easier to work with. 
4. Cut your sausages into smaller pieces. 
5. Mix all of your ingredients in a giant bowl.
6. Spray a pyrex pan with cooking spray and pop it in the oven for 40 minutes. 

I cut it into 8 servings. Each is roughly 160 calories with 23 grams of protein. Put salsa on it. Put Chalula on it. Noms. 

Enjoy. 






Monday, July 30, 2012

Smooshy Protein Pie

Yesterday, I went to town on cooking for the week. Mom and I did turkey loaf, which I may or may not have posted already, baked veggies, broccoli, quinoa, hard boiled eggs, Jamie Eason pumpkin protein bread, blueberry scones (needs some work), chicken, spaghetti squash, and... that's all. We were crazy! All of these recipes are fantastic, don't get me wrong. And I'll post all of them eventually if I haven't already. I started following instafitness, or something of the like on Instagram, and they just have the most creative ideas! It's kind of D-bagish, I'm not going to lie. But I had to jump on the cool kid wagon! These ideas are awesome! Originally the recipe called for vanilla whey and blueberries. Well I didn't have no stinkin' blueberries, nor did we have vanilla whey. But I did have chocolate whey and bananas. My recipe is bomb. Check it.

Need:
1. 3 cups of oats
2. 6 scoops of chocolate why
3. cinnamon to taste
4. 2 egg whites
5. 3.5 cups of coconut milk
6. 8 packets of artificial sweetener
7. 1.5 medium bananas
8. 2 tbsp. natural peanut butter (None of that Jiffy crap. That shit will kill you.) Next time we make it, I'm going to sub out the peanut butter with PB2 to cut that fat content. 
9. 1 teaspoon of baking powder

Directions:
1. Preheat the oven to 375. 
2. Mash the crap out of the bananas. Add whites, coconut milk, and peanut butter (if your not using PB2). If you are using peanut butter, let it come to room temperature before you add it in. Makes the next step a teensy bit easier. 
3. Beat your wet ingredients. Slowly add your oats, whey, cinnamon, sweetener, and baking powder. Continue beating until you achieve a smooth consistency. 
4. Using Pam or your favorite nonstick spray, spray a pan and add the batter. This is where it gets tricky. The consistency of this wonderfulness isn't really pie like. It's more bread like. Really you should you a 12X8 pan. I didn't have a 12X8 pan. I had a ginormous Costco size pie pan though. Viola...my bread became a pie. If you have a ginormous Costco size pie pan, use that. If your a normal person and you don't, use a 12X8. That will be just fine.
5. Bake at 375 for 35-40 minutes. Enjoy.

Serves 8 if your a man, and 16 if you're a lady.

This is awesome in the morning to get a good dose of carbs before a morning workout. I hope you guys like it.

SM


Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Spaghetti Squash

I love spaghetti squash. It can be a pain in the ass to cook, but my mom and I have figured it out. Since then, it's saved me during pasta cravings. I'm not big on savory foods: I'd take a big bowl of Ben & Jerry's over a steak any day. But I do love Italian. It's a glutenous little indulgence that I like to savor in every now and then. Here's a recipe that Mama Moff and I have made time and time again. Loaded with veggies, it will fill you up fast and keep you going for several hours. To give credit where credit is due, this is definitely not my recipe. It's from a wonderful cyber chef out there in the blog world, though I cannot remember the name of the nice young lady who created it. To the chef out there who put this together, thank you.

You'll need:
1. 1 large spaghetti squash. The meat will make about 3 1/2 cups of squash.
2. 2 teaspoons of extra virgin olive oil. I do love coconut oil, but EVOO is better for this one.
3. 2 cloves of garlic, minced
4. 1/2 cup chopped red onion
5. 3/4 cup chopped button mushrooms
6. 1 large carrot, chopped
7. 1/2 chopped bell pepper. Any color is fine. Red and orange work best.
8. 2 cups spinach
9. 1/2 cup diced tomatoes
10. 1/4 cup Panko
11. 1 cup low-sugar marinara. If you can make it yourself, do it. If not, try Traditional Prego, Light Smart. It's aight.
12. Basil, oregano, salt and pepper to taste
13. 1/4-1/2 cup shredded cheese. Be careful with this because some cheese can pack in a shit load of fat. I use Vegan cheese, but whatever is good for you.
14. Nutritional yeast for topping. It's just like Parmesan cheese. If you can't find it, Parmesan is fine. Again, just be gentle. 

Note: I add more veggies than this usually to cut calorie and add bulk.

1. Preheat the oven to 375. 
2. Slice the spaghetti squash in half. There are a couple of ways to soften the meat. You can either place it on a cookie sheet and bake it for roughly 40 minutes. This sounds nice and all, but it takes too long. Another way is to cut it in half, place the squash facing up in a microwave safe dish. Fill the dish with water until it hits the middle of the squash. Place a piece of plastic wrap over the dish and microwave for 10-12minutes on high. Makes things go faster. Trust.
3. While the squash is cooking, chop all your ingredients. In a very large pan, almost wok size if you have it, sauté garlic and onion with your olive oil. Add carrots, mushrooms, and pepper, followed by tomatoes and spinach. There really isn't a wrong way to do this. Just do the spinach last or it will get gross.
4. Once the squash is done cooking and it's cooled for a few minutes, scrape it all into a large bowl. Keep the shells. You'll need them.
5. Add sautéed veggies, Panko, 3/4 cup of marinara, 1/4 cup of cheese, and spices and mix it all up into a big mess. 
6. Once mixed, divide it into the two shells. Top with the remaining marinara and nutritional yeast. If you want to add cheese on top too, knock yourself out.
 7. Bake for 10 minutes and enjoy.

I love this for dinner with added chicken. My recipe is a bit cleaner than the original, so I can tell you that it's super low in calorie and high in fiber. This one is a little more work, but totally worth it.

SM

Monday, July 23, 2012

Pumpkin Protein Muffins

It's only July, and most would say it's too early for pumpkin. I, however, am a huge fan of all things pumpkin. Try these little noms for a morning booster or paired with Greek yogurt. To die for.

1. One cup canned pumpkin
2. Half cup applesauce
3. Half cup Fage
4. Three egg whites
5. One cup coconut flour 
6. One cup sweetener of your choice. I use Splenda, but if you use a stevia option, cut it down to a half cup.
7. One scoop vanilla whey
8. One teaspoon baking soda
9. Two teaspoons baking powder
10. 1/4 teaspon salt
11. Cinnamon, clove, and all spice until you think it will taste good

1.  Preheat your oven to 350. 
2. Mix all your dry ingredients in a large bowl.
3. Mix all your wet ingredients and combine. 
4. Scoop mixture evenly into 12 individual muffin tins.
5. Bake for 26-28 minutes. 

Enjoy. 

I'm so happy I found/created this guy. Perfect for a sweet tooth fix. 

SM

Strong is the new Skinny

Do you track your food? I can tell you that I have records of what I've eaten nearly everyday for the last   six years or so. Obsessive? Maybe. When I look back at how my eating has changed, I'm blown away. In high school, I struggled with my weight. The majority of my friends were petite and super adorable, and I was this awkward, kinda hefty, gigantically tall person with big knockers. It made me sad. Even my best friends made fun of me. (You know who you are hoe. Ha. Love you chick.) When I turned 16, I decided I didn't like being that way anymore, so I sought other methods (most dangerous and unhealthy) to lose weight. By 18, a lot of it had come off. But 20, it was right back on.

I met my first trainer was 21. He introduced me to clean, simple eating and working out. Over the last few years, I've changed my outlook on what I think is beautiful. I now value my health more than a size zero tag on a pair of expensive jeans. I personally think that muscle and shape is far sexier than a walking stick. I eat the way I do and work out the way I do because I enjoy it. I don't need to explain it to anyone, nor justify my reasons for ordering my chicken grilled dry. This is me; this is what I am and who I want to be.

I've set five goals for myself in the next five years. 
1. Graduate. Numero uno. 
2. Move out. Baby bird needs to fly.
3. Get a job. A real job. Maybe one that offers benefits and a retirement? (The hair on my neck just stood up.)
4. Compete in an NPC show
5. The fifth goal is personal. But it's awesome too.

I think these are reasonable. And I'm going to do all of this while tracking my food, working out five to six days a week, and working. Boom.


Summer 2011



Summer 2012

Track yourself. 




SM

Italian Turkey and Way-Too-Much-Work Fire Roasted Veggies

So I know I said I didn't eat meat, or that I wasn't going to eat meat anymore.... I lied. I'm back at it.

Jamie Eason makes these bomb little turkey meat balls. It's kind of a lot of work, so this is my much lazier twist on her recipe. I'll post her recipe one of these days.

1. Two packages of 99/1 turkey meat. 
2. 3 cups of spinach rough chopped
3. 3/4 to 1 cup diced onion
4. Four egg whites
5. One cup quick oats. (Don't use regular oats. Nast pants.)
6. Two cloves of minced garlic
7. Different Italian spices. This go around, I used oregano, sage, thyme, and dried basil. But whatever butters your biscuit if fine. Just put however much you want. Whatever fits your pallet. 

1. Preheat the oven to 375. 
2. Mix all ingredients together in a big bowl. 
3. Cut a piece of foil and place on a baking sheet. Spray with Pam or olive oil mist.
4. Form two cutsey little loaves. 
5. Bake for 35-40  minutes. 

Enjoy.

I say 35-40 minutes because it depends on your oven. Today I made two loaves at 375 for 40 minutes and those fucking things were like sand. Too dry. I would recommend 35 minutes if you're going to do two. Just keep an eye on it by that time.

For lunch, I had this with my way-too-much-work-but-totes-amazing grilled veggies salad. Here's what you'll need:

1. Three red peppers
2. Two Japanese eggplants
3. Two portobello mushroo,ms
4. Two zucchini's
5. Five mini ears of corn
6. Artichoke. (I fucked up the artichoke. But if you know how to prep them without destroying them, do it. Grilled artichokes are awesome.)

1. Prep your grill. I have charcoal, which is a huge pain in the ass. But it makes everything taste good, so I'm good with that.
2. Wash and slice all veggies into bug chunks. 
3. Grill vegetables until you get a nice char on them. I'd say 20ish minutes.
4. Once off the grill, let them cool and then slice into smaller pieces. Refrigerate and enjoy. This is really good on top of arugula with an herb vinaigrette.

SM


Tuesday, July 17, 2012

If you want something, work for it.

I read an article in Elle this month about the "skinny gene." The article surfaced new research that is being called the "skinny gene." Long story short, some people are just naturally thin with little work. That's great. However, now companies are trying to capitalize on people struggling with their weight, saying that with a DNA test to identify this certain gene, a particular diet and exercise plan can be written for the individual based on his or her genetics. I don't know why, but this infuriated me. Let's not kid ourselves when we say that weight loss, weight gain, and any kind of athletic training takes work and dedication. Diet and exercise are lifestyle choices: we pave our own way. If you want to sit on your ass and get fat, you will. Similarly, if you want to train for a fitness show, putting the time and effort into building beautiful, sculpted, proportionate muscle, you will. If you want to lose weight, and you put your heart and soul into eating right, changing your habits, and creating a healthy exercise regimen for your lifestyle, you will. Maintaining one's health takes work. It takes dedication and persistence. There is no such thing as a miracle pill. There is no such thing as the perfect exercise program. We all have to figure out what works for us. What works for you?

My mom and I read Powercake's blog. She's this super awesome chick who always has really creative ideas. You should totally check her blog out. I think I like her so much because she competes, blogs, is an RD, and is my age. The business. Anyways, she makes these awesome.... power cakes. They're protein wonder cakes that are super versatile and great in so many ways. Here is one of my personal favs that my mom just made:

1. 2 tablespoons of coconut flour
2. 1 tablespoon of flaxseed. Flax is so good for you.
3. cinnamon and vanilla 
4. 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
5. 5 egg whites and one whole egg
6. 1/2 cup canned pumpkin
7. 1/2 cup almond milk (Coconut milk is my personal favorite.)
8. A few drops of liquid stevia, or sweetener of your choice. Agave nectar is great too.

Mix all ingredients together. Bake at 350 for 30-35 minutes. Bomb.

Pave your own way. Make your own decisions and take responsibility over your body and your health. Good health is optional. Choose wisely.

SM.

Fishy Foil Packets

I eat a ton of fish. Especially when I'm going through a no-meat phase. My personal favorite, thats nearly impossible to find, is orange roughy. I could eat it 8 days a week, 3 meals a day. I might grow gills. Honestly. It's the perfect fish. It has a slight sweetness to it, so it's great with almost any kind of citrus recipes. This is how I do it:

1. Orange rough fillets. You'll mostly find it frozen, so shoot for three to five ounces.
2. Red bell pepper
3. Diced white onion
4. Ground red pepper
5. Lemon
6. Tin foil
7. Olive oil spray or just good ol' extra virgin olive oil

1. Preheat your oven to 425.
2. Defrost your fish.
2. Slice your bell pepper into thin strips. 
3. To construct, place your fish in the center of a piece of tin foil. Make sure that you cut a large enough piece so that you can pinch it closed on the top and on the sides.
4. Add your diced onion, red peppers, ground pepper, and the squeeze of half a lemon. 
5. Fold the top and the sides of the packet shut. Place on a cooking sheet for about 14 minutes, and boom! Delicious little white fish is on your plate. 

You can do this with almost any fish. I've made this with tilapia and mahi, although your cooking times and oven temperature will be different. It's great with a mixture of lemon, lime, and a bit of orange squeeze. I also love to add fresh minced garlic. Pair this recipe with a warm spinach salad or maybe roasted veggies. 

SM.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Tuna

When I think of tuna, I think of cat food. (And my friend's super cute dog.) But mostly cat food. It's gross; it comes in a can; it smells bad. I could go on and on. But it's super high in protein and a great snack. Back in my bodybuilding day, I knew a guy who ate a ton of it. I mean, a lot. He shared this awesome recipe with me. Let me know what you think.

1. Canned tuna. I use Kirkland brand from Costco in water. It's super nast if you get the crap packed in oil. Stick to water. If you can find a low sodium option, do it.
2. Red bell pepper
3. Corn. Get the real kind. It's in season right now.
4. Cucumber
5. Fresh lemon
6. Pepper

1. Dice the bell peppers and cucumbers small.
2. Drain your tuna and break up the chunks
3. Cook the corn and shuck from the ear
4. Mix everything together and squeeze the lemons into the delicious mess. Add pepper to your taste.

Enjoy. 

I eat my tuna with my salads usually. Enjoy it wrapped in lettuce or mix it with mustard or nasty pants light mayo (I hate mayonnaise) and make yourself a tuna sand. 

Whatever your flavor, enjoy.

SM.

Bean Stew

My mom makes this awesome bean stew. I call it a stew because it's not really a chili, but it's not really a soup either. I know it's July, but give it a shot. Trust me, it's good. Because I said I would give credit when credit is due, and because half of these recipes aren't mine, I will say that I'm almost posi that this is a Weight Watchers recipe. There, I tried.

1. 1 pound extra lean ground turkey, browned and drained (Optional)
2. 15 ounces of black beans, cooked al dente
3. 15 ounces of kidney beans, cooked al dente
4. 15 ounces of pinto beans, cooked al dente
5. 1 bag of frozen fire roasted corn (Trader Joe's kids. It's the business.) 
6. 15 ounces of diced tomatoes
7. 1 can of Rotel tomatoes
8. 1 envelope of taco seasoning (If you can find a low sodium option, do it. Again, Trader Joe's and Whole Foods have really great options.)
9. 1 envelope of ranch dressing mix
10. 2 cups of water

Directions:

1. Brown and drain your turkey if you choose to throw it in. This recipe is super good with boiled chicken, deboned as well.
2. Mix all ingredients in a large pot and simmer for at least 30 minutes to an hour. 

Enjoy. 

If you want to take the short cut on this recipe, you can use canned options. Keep in mind that this will throw the sodium content through the roof though. If you have the time, use fresh whole ingredients. It makes a difference. 

SM.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Plan. Prep. Pack.

Plan. Prep. Pack.

Planning your meals is usually the biggest pain in the ass. Thinking about where you're going to be on what days in the week is a huge headache. And not only that, but our days are constantly changing. So how do you plan your food for a week that is constantly changing? Create recipes in bulk. Or buy in bulk. Whatever your flavor, you can find something that you love to eat. Personally, I've found a ton of recipes. And they're all really simple. One thing that I love is Greek yogurt. I'm a personal fan of Fage 0%. You can buy it at Costco, which is awesome because that means its cheaper. It's pretty much the business. It's really high in protein, low in carb, moderate in calorie. But any kind of Greek yogurt will do. Trader Joe's makes a really good one too. It's creamier, so it's good for sauces and sour cream substitutions. For a quickie snack, try:

6 oz. Greek yogurt
1 tablespoon of chai seeds. These fibrous little wonders are amazing. They thicken the already thick Greek yogurt. It's almost like your eating... I don't know. Just trust me.
2 packets of a sweetener of your choice
Cinnamon. I use a ton of cinnamons because its noms. And the health benefits. That helps too.

 My mom, myself, and my boyfriend always prep our food once a week. (They're super inspiring people in my life. I talk about them a lot. Brad. And Mom. Awesome people.) Anyways,  Sunday is usually cooking day. Cooking day and I have a love/hate relationship. It's kind of bitch; I'm not going to lie. But let me tell you, it's also super relaxing. I get so much enjoyment out of my creations. It's also awesome because it's designated time that I spend with my mother and Brad. We bond. We laugh. Isn't that nice?

Pack your meals. I eat 6-7 meals a day. Every 2-3 hours, I eat something. Sometimes people give me shit because of how often I eat. But I know I'm doing myself a favor. Invest in Tupperware. It's amazing.

Food for thought. Tomorrow I won't rant. I'll actually post a recipe.

SM.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

I started a blog! Oh heyyy!

I've been asked to share my little pearls of wisdom on clean eating a lot lately. And truthfully, writing out a ton of recipes for a ton of different people is kind of a lot of work. I'm about simplicity. So here it is. I've created a blog for you lovely people of the world to follow me on my cooking escapades. Some of them are horrible. And I'll probably post pictures of myself spitting it out. Some of them are awesome. Maybe I'll post a picture of myself celebrating. But all of them are clean and simple. Clean and simple make me happy. Follow along if you want. Or not. That's cool too. Enjoy friends. 


I bet the buddha kept it simple. 

HSC.